


A Forgotten Eternity

by sassanddicks



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, cas - Freeform, castiel - Freeform, it probably doesn't make sense but hey, just go with it, this was a weird one okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 20:53:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1177805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassanddicks/pseuds/sassanddicks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Decades have passed and Dean can no longer live with the memories of the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Forgotten Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was actually written to be read with a song, that song being To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra, the youtube link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QB0ordd2nOI. So, if possible read it with the song.

Dean’s Point of View

 

You walk up the driveway and the gravel shifts beneath your feet. The world is swirling around you, colours splash like waves and the wind sings the song of autumn. You stand on the porch and breathe it in, because it can only last for so long, and so long is not forever. You look up at the place that promised you an eternity, a lifetime, but a lifetime too short, even in the eyes of a Winchester.

 

You pull the key from your back pocket and slip it into the lock, with a few long groans it gives, and swings open. You remain motionless at the entrance to the house that was once your home, all those years ago. Your attention slips to the distance between you body and the entrance. You feel the all too familiar burning in your eyes and close them, then in a second, you are the wide eyed and boisterous young man who thought that his dreams would last forever.

 

You remember the rough feeling of his hand in your as he pulled you down the hallway, his laughter bouncing off the walls and making you smile like the madman that you are. You remember it all and the burning only grows along with the wetness on your cheeks. You force in a ragged breath and push your legs over the threshold and into the place that so long ago broke the promise of an eternity. But you can not do it. You feel your eyes burn and your soul shatter for the thousandth time. It is too much.

 

The couch still worn from the endless nights of snuggling in the light of the fireplace, stealing kisses and promises of a different life.

 

You vision is fuzzy and you can not tell if you are standing in the same spot or running.

 

You look over to the grandfather clock, still standing tall and proud, that you sat in front of, ticking away hour after hour till he returned to you.

 

Everything is blurry and you feel yourself screaming, shouting at the top of your lungs.

 

You see the rug that he spent days picking, and hours vacuuming and scowling you when you wore shoes on it, torn and filthy.

 

You scream and you shout for him. ‘Cas’ you cry ‘Where have you gone?’

 

You look to the walls, all bare save one, with an old wooden photo frame, encasing a small photo of you and him.

 

Everything is spinning and then the stairs are rising to meet you and your grip on the bannister is painful, but you don not get a chance to focus on the pain.

 

There is dust everywhere and you scream for him louder, he hates dust.

 

‘CAS! Cas come back to me.’

 

You are running past the study in a blur catching a glimpse of his books strewn across the floor.

 

‘Come back to me.’

 

Your nails scrape at the wall, they crack and bleed and you blow off the dust watching it disperse through your whimpering. Your heart is a beating drum, pounding in your body, echoing in you ears and you look down to find yourself crouched up against a wall. Your legs curl into your body as your hands cloak your tear-stained cheeks.

 

Stop crying.

 

But you can’t. So you scream. Scream nothing but his name. Like a prayer, that can not be heard you scream, forcing, willing him to hear you and come back to you; just like he always has, just not this time. Crouched there, in your abandoned house, both loveless and lifeless, you cry. Because screaming does not work, because you can not count on your hands the amount of times you have screamed for him to come back, to come back to you, and not once has he listened, so why would he listen now.

 

You don’t remember getting up, but when you do become aware you find yourself at the entrance to the bedroom, your bedroom. Your legs freeze and your heart refuses to beat. The window above your bed is shut tight and the fading sunlight falls through it, onto the bed that you once both occupied. It’s empty now. Of course it is. You are still standing there, unable to move or breathe as the room stops spinning around you.

 

The sight of the rumpled sheets and indents of your merged bodies on the bed, becomes too much and. You can no longer stand tall and firm, like the righteous man you once were, he is gone and nothing can break you more than that knowledge. You were safe here, you used to be safe, alone together and then the angel’s fell.

 

But you push those thoughts out of your head for a day when you are stronger, but shake your head when you remember. As you stand like an unwelcome guest a step from the entrance to your room you start to shake. Shake for the memories that refuse to leave, and then you take a step inside. His smell, after all these years hits you and you can only fall. You hit the ground and you doubt you can get back up because he is everywhere and he is so beautiful. You lay on the floor as sob after sob wracks your body, echoing in the empty house, heard only to your own ears, because he is not here.

 

You turn your head, face pressed to the cold hard wood and will the tears to stop, you have to be brave, but the pain of this house has had decades to fester into the darkness left of your heart. You close your eyes and the tears wont stop, they rush down pooling on the wood. Then you see something that fuels the tears even more. His box.

 

Your breathing is coming out it in harsh ragged pants and you are struggling not to fall as you try to stand. With his box under one arm you begin to run. The room starts spinning again and you fall but catch yourself managing to keep the contents of the box in place.

 

Everything is spinning and the windows do not reflect the sunlight only shadows, hiding and lurking, chasing you. You know where you need to go and the tears blind you. You feel yourself falling and tripping but never reaching the ground. Your head twist and snaps, looking for an exit, but you feel trapped in an endless maze. This place, once your only experience of a home is broken with memories of him.

 

You feel the sweat drip down your face and the tears cloud your vision more than ever.

 

Why? Why did you take him from me?

 

You reach the back of the house and the door swings open. The fresh air hits you like a tidal wave and the sun is no longer present. You stop. Your lungs burning and reach up to tug at your hair. You pull at it, frantic, and when you pull your hand away there is blood but you can not begin to care. The box is still tucked away under your arm and you look down at it.

 

Oh Cas.

 

You look up at the sky, the colours faded and the stars do not shine. You look up at the place from which they fell.

 

It was years ago. Decades.

 

Your legs are moving again, pushing through the tall swaying thickets of brush and into the land beyond the house. The open land circles around you, enveloping you, and leaving you nothing more than a pin on a map, but then again that’s all he is, now anyway.

 

You are swallowed into the land around you and let your feet guide the way and when you arrive, he takes your breath away. And you fall, but this time you know you will not get back up, because the poison inside you has given you all the time you needed to find him because you could think of no better place to die than right beside Cas.


End file.
